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Joe's Diary

The latest news from the whispering grass!

7 Things You Should Never Do To Your Lawn

We’re now deep into Spring. We know this because our lawn is growing faster than asparagus (NB: asparagus grows crazy fast). But you already knew this, which is why you’ve been out in your garden, pushing that mower of your up and down, up and down at least two times a week already. Mmm hmmm. [read more]

How To Clear Your Lawn of Cutting-Clumps

Now, this is going to sound pretty drastic, but we don’t think there’s anything more unsightly than a lawn besmirched by large clumps of grass clippings. Actually, that’s not strictly true because seeing Donald Trump’s face, frown, ill-fitting suits, Twitter feed and/or general demeanour is probably the worst way anyone can start the day (#poormelania), [read more]

6 THINGS THAT PROVE GARDENS WERE MADE FOR GAMES

In the unwritten rules of society, everyone over 18 is technically an adult and, yes, society is technically right. But we all know there’s a massive difference ‘between being an adult’ and ‘feeling like an adult’. The problem is, fully-fledged adulthood creeps up on you. It catches you off guard and all of sudden you [read more]

This Soil Treatment Will Leave Your Lawn Looking Sub-Lime

When you were growing up, your parents – and grandparents – probably did that really parenty – and grandparenty- thing of telling you that life was all about balance. They said it so often that it became engraved in your frontal lobe without you even realising. It’s why you spend some of your days eating [read more]

Do You Really Need To Rake Up Your Grass Clippings?

Last week, while sat in my dentist’s infamously uncomfortable waiting room listening to the dull sound of drills go into teeth from behind the closed door next to me, I heard a nervous patient talking to the receptionist about his Saturday morning routine (presumably to shake off the nerves). Anyway, it went like this: Wake [read more]


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