Joe's Diary

Let’s be real for a moment: patios are a lot like conservatories. They are. Think about it for a microsecond. In the winter, they’re nothing but glorified storage spaces that quickly get filled with all that clutter you don’t use and thus should have probably thrown away by now (yeah, we’re looking at you rusty [read more]

We’re now deep into Spring. We know this because our lawn is growing faster than asparagus (NB: asparagus grows crazy fast). But you already knew this, which is why you’ve been out in your garden, pushing that mower of your up and down, up and down at least two times a week already. Mmm hmmm. [read more]

Now, this is going to sound pretty drastic, but we don’t think there’s anything more unsightly than a lawn besmirched by large clumps of grass clippings. Actually, that’s not strictly true because seeing Donald Trump’s face, frown, ill-fitting suits, Twitter feed and/or general demeanour is probably the worst way anyone can start the day (#poormelania), [read more]

In the unwritten rules of society, everyone over 18 is technically an adult and, yes, society is technically right. But we all know there’s a massive difference ‘between being an adult’ and ‘feeling like an adult’. The problem is, fully-fledged adulthood creeps up on you. It catches you off guard and all of sudden you [read more]

When you were growing up, your parents – and grandparents – probably did that really parenty – and grandparenty- thing of telling you that life was all about balance. They said it so often that it became engraved in your frontal lobe without you even realising. It’s why you spend some of your days eating [read more]