Some top tips to help you remove grass stains from your favourite clothes.
So, today’s unpopular opinion of the day is: grass stains are awesome. C’mon, they are. They’re like little green badges of honour stuck to your knees and elbows that tell the world, “Yeah, I left my iPhone inside, turned my Xbox off at the plug and played outside… in the great outdoors.”
French cricket, world cup football, stuck in the mud, beer pong – with the sun shining and the days longer than a flight to Sydney, enjoying the outdoors is what kids should be doing, and those little green badges of honour are marks every parent should be proper proud of.
That said, grass stains are still uber-annoying and Newton’s Fourth Law is unnervingly accurate, you know, that one about how for every new outfit a kid is bought, a grass stain will appear within minutes of putting it on (that was Newton, right?).
Anyhoo, the reason they’re uber-annoying is because removing a grass stain from the knee bit of some jeans or the elbow of your kid’s school uniform (or any kind of fabric-slash-upholstery for that matter) is harder than trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. And if that’s not enough to put a rain cloud on your mood, the longer you leave grass stains to dry, the tougher they are to remove (#sodslaw).
That’s why I’ve been busy talking to some professionals (aka my mum and grandma) about a) how you can prevent grass stains from ruining the nice, new clothes you bought your (usually ungrateful) kid and b) the old school tricks to remove them if option a) fails.
I think I just came up with a new slogan: if it’s to do with lawns, Joe’s has got your back (and elbows and knees)
First Off, How The Heck Does Grass Even Stain?
If you’ve ever stumbled across my blog before, you’ll know I’m not one to get all sciency. The problem is, it’s hard to explain grass stains without getting a little bit Key Stage 3, for which I apologise. But, basically, grass stains are mostly made up of the chlorophyll from your plants, which is sucky news because chlorophyll is actually a dye stain, which is even suckier news because dye stains are what Mrs Hinch would probably describe as “the toughest stains to remove”. And to top off all this suckiness with an extra dollop of the suck, most grass stains will be accompanied by other stain removal challenges like sweat stains and mud stains and juice stains and a bunch of other stains too. Basically, grass is really-really good at staining clothes.
The Best Ways To Prevent Grass Stains
If you are hoping for some foolproof, awesome, why-didn’t-I-think-of-that, magic formula for preventing grass stains from ever appearing, I’ve got some bad news. The only 100% way to prevent them is to avoid playing garden games or playing on grass in general, which I’m never going to suggest. Instead, I’ve got a list of other things you can do that might or might not help you in your battle against grass stains:
Tongue-in-cheekiness aside, the only legitimate way to stop pesky grass stains from becoming permanent reminders of that time your dog took out your legs while you were carrying a tray of G&Ts to your BBQ buddies is to treat any and all grass stains right away. Like, immediately. The fresher the grass stain the less time it has to dye your clothes, and that makes them easier to remove. So as soon as you notice a grass stain, get treating (by using my gran’s advice below).
Removing Grass Stains, According To My Grandma
Before you try any of Granny Joe’s grass removal hacks, the first thing you need to check is the label: if your clothes are dry clean only, forget everything I’ve written below and take your clothes to your favourite magician of a dry cleaner and point at the stain. They’ll do what they can to get that sucker out without ruining your clothes. If, however, your grass-stained clothing is machine washable, well, there are a few nifty little hacks you can try.
Just remember, when you’re trying to remove a stain, always use cool water. Dry heat (or heat of any kind really) will just set the grass stain and make it even more annoying to remove.