What The Fudge Is Aeration?

We have made lawn care our business. We research lawns, improve lawns, dream about lawns, shower using the hose...

We have made lawn care our business. We research lawns, improve lawns, dream about lawns, shower using the hose on our lawn and brush our teeth while staring out the window at our own lawn. It is the little quirk that makes us who we are. So, yeah, we like lawns. A lot. Not a weird amount, but a lot.

However, we have come to accept that we are an anomaly on this front. We are aware that the Average Joe probably doesn’t have the same healthy obsession for lawns as our Joe does. For instance, when you hear Alan Titchmarsh – or, more likely, your gardener – throws around the word “aeration” you probably start to panic. What’s more, because you are British and thus too embarrassed to ask what something means, you end up nodding your head in agreement, pretending like you know exactly what they are on about even though the word Frumplegoosefrollop makes more sense to you than aeration.

Well, from this day forward, all this stops because we are about to answer the question that has kept you awake ever since that conversation you and your gardener had: What The Fudge Is Aeration?


Aeration 101

Okay, the short answer goes like this: aeration is a form of lawn maintenance that makes your lawn look even healthier than Pharrell’s skin, while simultaneously getting rid of all the weeds that decided to move into your garden (and without even asking too). That’s lawn aeration in a nutshell.

Of course, we can’t just leave you with that and then carry on living our lives because that would make the first paragraph of this blog totally redundant. So, without further ado, we bring to you everything you need to know about aeration, from what it entails to what time of year you should do it. Don’t thank us. Please. It’s just part of the service you get from Joe’s Lawn Care.


So, What The Fudge Does Aeration Entail?

There is no point dressing this up and using the kind of sexy vernacular found on a Marks & Spencer’s advert because aeration is just the process of stabbing hundreds and hundreds of little holes in your lawn. We know this sounds totally bonkers and the kind of thing you would hear an old-timer say to a labourer on their first day (our favourite is still, “Could you nip to Wickes and grab us two pots of tartan paint”), but this lawn-stabbing craziness really does work. It will make your lawn greener than you ever thought possible.

Now, if you are feeling really bored then you can do this yourself with a pitchfork and if you are feeling really-really bored then you can do this yourself with a chilled salad fork. However, to get the best results – and avoid questioning what you are doing with your life – we suggest you call us; that way we can bring our instruments around for a spot of ‘core aeration’, which is where we pull up between 1 and 6 inches of soil from your lawn, allowing the fresh air to fill these hollow spaces and feed the roots that much more.

(Oh, sod it, this is what the M&S version looks like. Just remember it needs to be read in a super sexy accent: Aeration is the evolution of beauty through cuspidation, a perfect plethora of delicate chambers adorning your lawn like the detailed guild on a glorious crown. How’s that?)


What Is The Point Of All This?

The soil beneath your lawn tends to become incredibly compacted over time, so much so that nothing can get through: not water, not your grass’ roots, not even air. This is about as far from ideal as you can get on the lawn front because a lack of air means there is also a lack of recycled nutrients keeping your ground healthy. That’s not all though. Because your lawn is more tightly packed than a pot of mixed-up Playdoh, your soil is going to become sparse and dry and an absolute theme park for weeds. That’s where aeration rips off its civilian clothes and plays the part of your local superhero because it loosens your compacted soil. What you do with that is up to you but, while most people aerate just to make their lawns look fifty shades of glorious, others do it to make their reseeding, fertilisation and lawn treatments that much more effective. There. That’s the point.


Is This A Chore That Needs Repeating All The Time?

The bad news is yes; you should try and keep up with aerating your lawn. The good news is no; this isn’t something you need to do every week or even every month. Exactly how often you indulge in this process depends on the type of soil you are working with and what kind of climate you live in. If you got that type of soil that got mistaken along the way and started believing it was clay, then we recommend you aerate your lawn twice a year, either side of summer. If you have really light and sandy soil then you can probably get away with doing this every other year. If you live in a hot and dry place then a) lucky you, b) do you have a spare bedroom and c) you may want to consider doing this a few times each year; spring, summer and autumn. Obviously, with us living in the spare bedroom, this will be super easy.


When Is The Ideal Time For Aeration?

The two most effective times to start stabbing holes all over your lawn are spring and autumn. The reasons for this are pretty simple:

  • In the spring: Your lawn is silently screaming for your help as it tries to recover from what was a horrendously harsh Game Of Thrones style winter.
  • In the autumn: Your lawn took a beating all summer. It was getting trampled on by kids with too much energy, dogs that had caught the scent of some animal, heavy lawn furniture and paddling pools that were dragged out of your cobwebbed shed for the first time in twelve months. 


And there we have it; everything you ever wanted to know about aeration. Now you can go back to sleeping well and engaging your gardener in a good old chinwag. Just to cap it all off, though, aeration is designed and guaranteed to improve your lawn. It will make it greener, stronger, more fertile and just, well, that much sexier (if a lawn can be sexy, which we personally think it can be).